"Rock what you got, rock what you got
Don't ever let them make you stop
Rock what you got, light up the lot
No one can rock the way you rock."
These words come from a Superchick song, "Rock What You Got". They resonate with some thoughts (nudgings, if you would) that I've had previously. And while I'm not sure the song was meant on the literal level (I assume it's meaning is more an aim at living your life on your own path), I'm taking it at it's literal level here. Because I believe that no one can rock the way you or I have been made to rock. God has made us each with an ability to rock (or worship) in a unique way. So, off of that thought, here it goes...
I grew up in a church that was pretty restrictive from my point of view regarding worship. You did not move during church-you sat very still. And you certainly did not clap during the music. To this day it is very rare that you will see me clapping during the music, even if everybody else is. It is hard for me to overcome that barrier. But if I were to worship from my very core, I would be a danching fool, singing at the top of her lungs.I get frustrated with worshipping at church. I hate that we are all (or is it merely I?) encumbered by the cultural standards of both our specific church and our culture in general. For instance, in my church people don't really raise their hands or sing melodies or harmonies that are not an original part of the song. In our culture, we don't generally do our own dance to the song we are singing. To me, this leaves our worship in church shackled. We are held down and held back by these societal restrictions. I hate it. I want to sing with my whole being. I want to dance to the song even when I may look silly to others. I want to lift my hands when I feel like it. I want to worship unshackled. I think this is what God wants from us too. But am I willing to be that person who lifts her hands when no one else does? Am I willing to really be vulnerable in the midst of others? Or do I sacrifice genuine worship to feel accepted? Too often I do the latter. What will it take for my shackles to come off?
I've been debating this a lot lately. Because more and more I feel the urge/nudge to lift my hands during a song, to cry tears of joy and love...but I don't. I think this is an area of my life that God is nudging me. It is a challenge that I'm not sure I can accept or conquer. I've been thinking of sitting in the back of the church where nobody can see me for the first week or so, just to take a little pressure off. And then maybe move up a row every week or two as I become more comfortable just being me. And trust me, I don't have skills...if I rock what I got, it's not the culturally acceptable dancing--it will be me rocking as only I can uniquely do. :)
So what do you think? Do you think we can rock what we got? Can we worship without the cultural shackles?
It's SO dumb I know (you're not dumb Lacie, I am)....but I just can't seem to allow myself to do something as simple as raise my hands during worship. I almost feel like it's a struggle between myself and Satan....like I'm letting him win by not worshiping the way my heart wants to.....and it's a fight I lose every Sunday.
SIDE NOTE: Seriously, I feel like I'm in high school again and I'm going to be made fun of if I do something that my friends aren't doing. And just like in high school, I know I shouldn't care what my friends think and I should do what I know is right....but why don't I act on it?! Hello, I'm a grown up, why do I allow myself to feel this way......better yet, why do I allow Satan to make me feel this way? SIDE NOTE ENDED!
I was driving in my car a few days ago (worshiping God by myself where I totally sing like crazy, get all into the music and lift my hands and everything...funny that I do it in my car but not on Sundays).... and I was listening to a CD and your nudge just popped into my head. I a felt like God was giving me an answer to my own struggle with this. So, I'll trade you a Super Chicks song for Steven Curtis Chapman song. :-)
It's called Something and here is how part of it goes....
"And it's crazy when love gets a hold of you
And it's crazy things that love will make you do
And it's crazy but it's true
You really don't know love at all
'Til it's making you do
Something crazy"
That song made me think.....something crazy.....it could be as big as God sending you somewhere OR as big as worshiping Him however you're moved. So I am going to be praying hard and allowing God to work on me towards doing something crazy JUST for him.
I used to feel manipulated in worship. How many times must I be commanded to clap before I realize that Jesus is sad when my hands fail to hit one another on beat and when the worship leader says so? I grew tired of people trying to manufacture feelings and call that Christ.
I also grew disturbed at how closely personal feelings were tied to worship. I have had people tell me that if they didn't feel a certain way they didn't feel like they had worshiped...as if it was my fault as the pastor that they didn't have a good time in church. This also takes the form of "play the songs I like or I am not singing". This, I must admit, still bothers me.
I also used to joke about "worship sex" where teenagers (most often) confused romantic feelings for each other with worship. Worship then became a way to touch and rub against each other as much as possible...in the name of Jesus. Ok, I still joke about this...because it's funny.
If worship is not tied to culture, then people will be able to worship fully and in a satisfying way no matter the setting. Is this true? What I have found is that worship is tied to culture. We just don't always like that culture and want to replace it with another that better fits our ideals. This seems like a misdirected attitude of worship to me.
I believe that God is bringing me to a place where He is more important than what, when, where, and how. God trumps culture without erasing it. Worship becomes a holy disturbance of the soul that changes me in the culture that surrounds me. Worship altars my being as I discover more and more what it means to be a new creation in Christ. This sort of worship may be what Nudgling (Lacie) is talking about.
Worship is a personal choice and it is communal. This disturbance of the soul crosses all cultural boundaries. "Rock what you got" reminds me of this. Let the culture be the culture. If it honors God it is an avenue that will lead to worship (if we allow it). My desire is to have my soul disturbed by God and to share that with others in whatever form that takes. This is powerful worship where God is more significant than culture.
Am I nuts?